Waking Dad

Yesterday afternoon, we took a ride to drop off our exchange student to an impromptu student gathering. We didn't tell Chickie until we were there because she gets very upset when she is not invited to the parties. As we thought, this was no exception. After dropping off Marina we headed for the mall to kill some time, let the kids use the playground area and enjoy the air conditioning before heading out for a late lunch someplace TBD. When Chickie heard that we were going to the mall she stopped her backseat tantrum and said 'Hey maybe I can get my ears pierced?'

 

After hemming and hawing about it she finally was ready. Spicy and I agreed... anything for some quiet. Chickie was excited and nervous. I was looking forward to seeing her with pierced ears. I always thought she would look adorable with them. She is after all part Puerto Rican and we pierce a girls ears in the bassinet. It's kind of like a Latin version of a Bris for girls. She asked me if it would hurt...  I have an ear pierced so I would know. I told her just a little. I probably should have just kept my mouth shut.

 

We made it to the jewelry spot in the mall... you know the one. It's the spot in the middle of the mall floor, right in the flow of traffic, with all the sparklies that has free ear piercing for all to see. Spicy helped Chickie pick out a pair and paid for them. It was then that Chickie started to pace and mumble to herself.

 

Googie was clinging to me like a monkey. She is getting bigger but still wants to be carried most of the time. She says she's tired of walkin'. My feeling the same way carries little weight. Anyway... Chickie starts back peddling as I sat in the chair so she could then sit on my lap. The lady came towards her with the purple fine point marker to plot the location of the piercing when Chickie started freaking out.

 

'I changed my mind! I changed my mind!'    

'Chickie... you can do this. It's no big deal.'

'I'm serious! I'm serious! I don't want to... I changed my mind!'

 

She made several lunges for the escape hatch while I held her on my lap and tried to negotiate with her.  

 

'Ok, if you get the ears done I'll take you to Build-A-Bear.'

'How about we go there first then I can have something to hold.'

 

Knowing her penchant for backing out I strongly suspected this would only increase the money I would have to spend without her getting pierced, having already paid for earrings that I couldn't return because they were already loaded into the sterile stapling cartridge.

  

'Nope... Ears first then Build-A-Bear '

"I'd rather go to 'Lindy Lu's"

"Ok then we'll go there but only after getting the ears pierced".

 

We almost had her then but that evil lady with the purple fine point marker started towards her again and all bets were off... again. I thought if she could watch someone get it done she would feel better, so the piercing lady, (she was very nice btw) got another set of earrings put in for Chickie's benefit, I think it was her 5 or 6th pair. After that, she still wouldn't go near the chair, but she didn't want to leave either. She wanted to do it...  she just couldn't bring herself to go for it.

 

We spent the next hour trying to talk her threw it as she tried to get some Lindy Lu stuff anyway.  I was losing my patience at that point. I hadn't eaten all day because I had gotten up early to do some lawn work and then the whole road trip thing happened, so I thought we'd be chowing down by that point in the afternoon. I had a headache and Goog still wanted to be carried by either one of us.

 

I decided to call it quits. We took possession of the earrings still in the loading cartridges and headed out as Chickie started crying because she still wanted Lindy Lu crap and Googie was hysterical because she never got to the play area. I wasn't going to spend another second in that cursed place no matter how much they screamed. I had to get out and quick. 

 

No one was having any fun, except Marina... cause she wasn't there.

 

We got them into the car still carrying on. It was painfully apparent that I was not going to eat anytime soon. There was no way we were going to a restaurant with them acting like that, so we headed out of the parking lot. Googie was screaming, Chickie was crying and I was starving and my head was pounding. Spicy talked me into going back... she would take them to the play area I could go get a snack or something to hold me over, then we could try again for lunch someplace TBD. So back we go... what a bad idea that was. I did get something to eat but it wasn't a "snack". Have you ever tried to find just a snack in the food court of a mall? And if you could imagine finding said "snack", would you then think it would "hold you over" when you are already starving? I didn't think so either.   

 

After having my foot-long oven roasted chicken breast Subway sub and large drink... I wasn't in the mood for lunch anymore. Spicy found me at the food court... (Damn it!) and we left in the midst of more carrying on by Googie, but enough was enough.

 

When we got home, Chickie was very upset with herself for not going through with it. So she went with Spicy when it was time to pick up Marina and she would try again. I was really hoping she would go through with it with Marina there. I knew she would love it once it was done and I also knew if she didn't she would obsess about it to no end.  Spicy called me later about ordering a pizza but didn't mention it so I figured she backed out again but later she ran in all excited to show me her new heart shaped gold earrings.

 

She was so proud of herself... "And it only hurt a little Daddy!"   

 

Huh... who knew.    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's not the first time I've felt a cold sharp blade between my shoulders but I'm always taken by surprise when it happens...

 

While at the annual neighborhood July 4th weekend party sponsored by the people directly across the street from us, I found out something while having a casual conversation with another neighbor that got me riled 4 years after the fact. Bear with me as I give some background...

 

Back track to Oct. 2004:

 

Spicy and I are all moved into our new home.  We decided that we didn't like the front walkway, which was made up of an 8-foot cement walkway incline leading to our two-step front stoop. I hated that incline. I felt like I was on a treadmill every time I used it. Add to that a 6 month old and carrier or bags of groceries or both and you can see how that could get old real quick.

 

By the way... Spicy was at that time a few months pregnant with our second child. 

 

I had mentioned to my wife my intention of correcting the situation. Then our neighbor, one house removed, had a combination paver block stairs and flowerbed installed and I felt like my prayers had been answered. I promptly got the contractor info from them and set about designing my own new front entrance. I designed it specifically so we would not require a permit. In our town no permit is needed for pavers unless there are more than two stairs in a row, then a railing is required. This explains the builder putting in a cement incline leading to two cement stairs.

 

The contractor confirmed that as I had designed it, (two stairs and landing then two more stairs) we would not need a permit. The stairs were installed to my satisfaction except the sub-contractors who actually did the work put in 3 stair and 3 stairs because of the elevation. Since my neighbors, one house removed, never get a permit and they had an unbroken series of 6 stairs, I just figured let it go, too late now anyway.

 

Fast forward 6 months. Spicy is now 9 months pregnant, taking care of a very active two year old by herself and her mother is in the end  stages of cancer... all this was well known in the neighborhood.  We got a summons from the township for not having a permit for the front stairs. I had in fact picked up our permit a couple days earlier having previously gotten a notice that a permit was needed but no fine or deadline date was required. The new summons said that we owed $2,000 fine and $2000 more was due after a date that had already passed and $2,000 more would be due every week afterward that until a permit was obtained. If you have ever tried to get a contractor to come back to revisit a project months after payment has been made then you know what I was up against trying to get him to fill out the permit paperwork. Add to that the 4 weeks it took for them to actually process said paperwork...

 

Did I mention that I had a permit in hand?    

 

You can imagine the phone call I received while at work from a very upset and frazzled wife regarding the receipt of this new notice and the phone call I made to the permit office. I gave them hell for their own incompetence in having sent out this notice after I had already picked up the permit, not to mention that they had the paperwork in their possession for so long and still didn't know I was in the process of getting the permit for weeks before they sent the threatening notice and exorbitent fine.        

 

The manager was very contrite and apologetic... a computer thing she said. I have worked with computers for almost 2 decades and I know computers don't make mistakes. They can only do what they are told to do... period. The mistake was theirs.   

 

Anyway... after having to chase down our original contractor to fill out the paperwork and waiting for the paperwork to be processed then having to duke it out with the permit department, it took another couple months to find a welder who would do the work. But after long last the work was done and we passed the inspection. All the while I wondered why we had to go thru all this when our neighbor, one house removed, never heard 'boo' about their stairs even though their's was an even more egregious violation than ours.  And even though Spicy had let it slip while yelling at the permit person that they hadn't gotten any notice despite being first to install their stairs. This has always been a sore point with me. As it turned out they never did get a notice and only had to install a railing when they sold their house a year ago. A crappy railing at that.

 

Did I mention that our neighbors, one house removed, were close with our immediate neighbors who for some reason Spicy and I have never been able to discern have seemed to not like us from the first time we meet months before moving in? They're the kind that are 'fake nice' to your face when they want something from you but talk about you behind your back to other neighbors, (you know it when people who were at first friendly suddenly are not after coincidently becoming tight with the neighbors next door) or do some little passive aggressive things that you can't really prove... like moving survey stakes in their favor or moving things on your property. It's hard to miss when they throw a neighborhood party and invite everyone except their next door neighbors... that being us. We have always been nice to them and I've tried to get along despite it all. In fact I was confiding to them about the whole permit/summons problems we were having as we guessed at who could have made the complaint in the first place...

 

Back to the present: During our conversation my neighbor across the street mentioned that he got a summons about his dog barking too much... I didn't even realize they had a dog. That's how much it barked, (a little poodle by the way).  Then he says...'Yeah the complaint came from the same people who turned you in over your front steps'.    

 

'Oh... Who is that pray tell?'

 

'Your neighbors.'

 

Suddenly the lights went on in my head. It all made sense. How foolish I feel now as I recall my talks with them regarding it all.  Did I mention that the wife works for the township offices along side the permit office? How stupid am I... really?

 

'Are you sure?'

 

'Yeah... My guy said he knew for sure.'

 

He wouldn't tell me who told him so it's just more that I can't prove... but I suspect it was his immediate neighbor, who use to be close with my immediates but now is not. I do know from the horse's mouth that the guy I was speaking to is not liked by my immediates. Funny thing I think the guy is ok... I trust him. They also saw us talking and were acting suspicious afterwards.       

 

So what do I do with this knowledge now? I wish I didn't know because I'm left angry about something that is years past and I honestly thought we were making headway with them... even if we were I can't trust them now. Keep in mind they did this knowing the mood that existed in our home at the time.   

 

I guess I was spoiled growing up. Our neighbors were our friends. We trusted them completely and we counted on each other for help without having to ask... ever. I wonder will those days return. I miss those days.  We've all heard that "what goes around comes around" so all I can say now is...

 

watch out.     

 

                 

We're borrowing someone's daughter again this year.  

 

Today our Spanish exchange student is scheduled to arrive. Marina is her name. She's 16, (I think) and she will be with us for a month.

 

Last year we sponsored a student for the first time and it worked out pretty well so we decided to give it another go. The only problem is I lose the free use of my mancave for the month. Since that's where my old futon from my bachelor days resides. You ladies won't sympathize I know but you guys can appreciate just how important our caves are to our mental and emotional well being. I guess I'll be hanging out in the basement for the next month... It's not as good because there's no computer but there is a TV so I'll survive.  

 

Having someone else around during the summer works out well for Spicy. It gives her a little breathing room during the day having another body for the girl's to focus on and keep Spicy company. We don't make the kid do laundry or anything like that... although I woudn't mind if she cut the lawn once or twice. I'm kidding of course... maybe cleaning out the garage would be a more suitable activity.

 

Actually we may ask her if she is up to just watching the kids once so Spicy and I could go out alone for a change. We didn't last year but what the hell... she's there anyway. How often are we gonna have a built-in babysitter occupying my mancave?    

 

                                                            

I took last Friday off because Chickie was graduating from pre-school and Googie was graduating from First Step, which is pre-pre-school. It was nice having both of our daughters up on the stage at the same time. It was also nice that Chickie for the first time in three years remembered to keep her legs crossed while sitting up on the stage. 

 

Chickie's teacher spoke briefly about each student as they went up for their diploma. Spicy got all weepy as the teacher said that Chickie had the best singing voice she has ever heard from one so young... 'Absolutely angelic' were her exact words. This may be the first and last time someone describes my daughter as angelic so I'm glad I got that on camera. Later the four of us and Spicy's father went to Applebee’s for lunch. I made Chickie promise that if she ever becomes a famous singer she will buy her ole mom and dad a place in Boca Raton. 

 

Both kids were sufficiently hopped on graduation cake, candy and adrenaline to ensure a lively celebratory luncheon for all.   

 

Saturday we went to a graduation/pool party at one of the student's home. Let's just say that Spice and I were extremely happy that we gave the girls swimming lessons last year. First, I jumped in with the girls in a shallow area that bordered a sudden drop off into deep water that I was not aware of. As soon as I got in the water Googie grabbed onto my neck and Chickie climbed on my back and sat on my shoulders just as I took a step back and instantly went from about 3 feet to well over my head deep water. I went under and for a few very scary moments and could only manage to keep their heads above water. I couldn't get my head above so I had to throw Chickie off my shoulders long enough to save myself and Googie, who had a death grip around my neck in front, then turn around and grab Chickie up. I'm a good swimmer when my arms are free but because of a bad knee I can't tread well with legs alone. That was some scary shit that you can bet won't happen again.

 

Much later in the day Spice had left briefly to go to the restroom and I was chatting about ten feet away with one of the dads there. Googie was in one of those blow-up boats that have holes for the kids legs to go thru. She had been in this thing for along time with me and with others around and she was happy and secure. I kept looking over to check on her while my wife was away. It was just before Spicy returned and after my last look over that Googie decided to get out of the boat unassisted. Spicy returned to see Googie desperately treading water.

 

It was then that we decided to call it a day. Two close calls in one day was two too many for us.

 

Sunday we went to FIL's tennis club for a Father's Day BBQ. I'm glad to report that no lives were lost there either. FIL just needs to realize that for the pre-kindergarten set... ice cream is one of the major food groups. In fact it's the only one that matters. Luckily Googie and Chickie have parents who plan ahead and force-feed at least a couple of the other non-essential foods before leaving home.